4 Ways the Internet is Owning You

Hey, what’s up? How you doing?

*Shrugs* Meh. You?

Meh. Could be better. Could be worse.

Yeah.

*Stares at phone*

Does this scene evoke a sense of déjà vu? Most of us have experienced some form of this exchange at least once in our lives. Urban Dictionary explains that the word "meh" is “a universal, non-committal answer to every question ever posed. It’s the answer that doesn't actually give any answer.”

Our elders have dubbed us “Generation Y” (because reasons). But I suggest switching to a more evocative, descriptive title:

Generation Meh.

When you’re at work, you’re staring into a computer screen and surfing the web. When you’re with your friends at a restaurant or bar, you’re all sending WhatsApp messages to your S.O.s (baes? beaus? boos? baboons?!??!) or taking selfies to upload on Instagram, or tweeting that hilarious one-liner your cheeky friend just uttered, or, God forbid, not even paying attention to the conversation because you’re too busy trying to reach the number 2084. And when you’re at home, you’re plugged into the internet watching movies illegally or scrolling through Facebook or reading the latest funny “24 Things That...” article George Takei posted.

Yeah there are Buzzfeed videos about how addicted Generation Meh is to their devices. And we watch them while on our devices. And we chuckle and say “meh”.

The truth is that the internet is our version of the 1960’s drug explosion. Except instead of feeling freer and more connected to each other, we feel more and more alone and dissatisfied with daily life. How can that be? 

(Side note: Already whilst composing this article I’ve checked my Facebook at least three times.)

But here are some thoughts to consider—in the form of a familiar Buzzfeed list.

1. The internet isolates us

We can be in a room full of people and yet our minds are still connected on some level to this intangible bog of wires and satellites called the internet. If we’re bored of the person in front of us, we can tune them out with Spotify or engage our friend in facebook chat conversation (forget using actual words, we can just send a line up of funny emoticons). 

The internet tricks us into believing we’re a part of a community, when really we’re missing the community surrounding our physical body. We can’t hear the intonations of voices, study body language, facial expressions, we can’t touch, we can’t make eye contact—all vital to our emotional growth. As we have fewer and fewer genuine, long-lasting social interactions that don’t depend on some form of distraction from someone’s device, we begin to lose our ability to interact. A lot of us count ourselves as “introspective” or “introverted”, and more people are being diagnosed with social anxiety. There's even a new disorder called Social Media Anxiety Disorder:

"As individuals turn to social media networking sites to fulfill their needs, they mistakenly assume that their problems will be resolved. Unfortunately, the networking sites cause these vulnerable individuals to compare their lives in contrast with other friends, and inadvertently fall victim. As a result, this comparison causes blows to self-esteem, negative effects on the individual's life, flame wars, hate crimes, increase in blood pressure, and missing out on life's important moments."

We use our devices as safety blankets in social situations. When we feel awkward or don’t know how to talk to someone, we send texts and check our newsfeed. It takes our minds off the reality—that we’re forgetting how to be with other people.

 2. The internet is a drug

You know about dopamine, right? It’s that little neurotransmitter that transmits happiness throughout the brain whenever you experience a moment of reward. When you buy that new LCD TV, your brain rewards you with dopamine to make you crave more moments of satisfaction. The same thing occurs when you get likes on Facebook. Or when you pin a picture of something you desire on Pinterest. Or when your tweet gets re-tweeted enough times to make you feel important. 

Each like, each pin, each re-tweet, sends a blip of dopamine into your system. And it feels good. Damn good. Unfortunately this blip is very temporary and, like a regular drug, it leaves you wanting more. That’s one of the reasons why we feel a bit down when that HILARIOUS photo of the dancing cat-and-ferret duo we shared only received two likes after twelve hours—which pretty much means that’s as much as it’s ever going to get. The more we build an online presence, the more opportunity there is for rewards to occur. The more rewards we get, the more dopamine is shot into our system. Even more insidious is the fact that one study found internet addiction can alter the patterns of white matter in the brain: “These changes showed evidence of disrupting pathways related to emotions, decision-making, and self-control.” 

3. The internet is painful

Until we just have virtual reality goggles that we can strap to our heads, we're having to jut out our necks and bend them to look at our phones, and when we're sitting at a computer it's more than likely we're leaning forward with our shoulders rounded or slumped. The result? PAINNNNNNNN.

According to this article, 

"The average human head weighs 10 pounds in a neutral position -- when your ears are over your shoulders. For every inch you tilt your head forward, the pressure on your spine doubles. So if you're looking at a smartphone in your lap, your neck is holding up what feels like 20 or 30 pounds."

Ouch. Physiotherapists are calling this phenomenon "Text Neck"--but if affects way more than the neck. It affects your spine, nerve tissues, and metabolism. When you're slouching, you're taking in 30% less air when you breathe. And that means less oxygen in your blood, which can lead to vascular diseases and gastrointestinal problems.  

Basically, be aware of your posture and body position when engaging with your devices. Your head should be sitting on your neck so that your ears are in line with your shoulders. Your feet should be flat on the floor and your spine straight. Hold your phone directly in front of your face if you have to, even though that would just look obnoxious to other people.

4. The internet sedates us

Whether or not we’re addicted to the internet, it still placates us. There’s a reason it’s called the inter-NET or the world wide WEB. Like the Matrix, when we’re plugged into this enormous database, we believe we have knowledge and power at our fingertips. The problem is that when we’re convinced we’re making change by sharing petitions or buying goats online for a poor family in Indonesia we’re actually just lying on our backs with wires coming out of our heads. The world’s elite (the Illuminati, the Bushes, the Banks, whatever you wish to call them) are still screwing us over and we’re not doing anything about it.

Take, for instance, the ALS ice bucket challenge. 




Celebrities participated and so did many of you. It was a world-wide phenomenon that raised millions of dollars for the ALS Association. A good thing, right? Well, consider this: their total revenue for the year 2014 was $24,030,687.  But how was that money spent? 

Well, according to their tax returns the cost of running the association was $12,000,000--including the administrators' salaries, yearly bonuses, travel expenses, "pension plans", and "non-employee labor". In addition, $1 million was spent on "Lobbying". (Source)

And the truth about the "research" being done to find a cure--which is where you hoped your money was going when you donated--is that, since forming in 1985, the association has not invested in any new cures for ALS. Their one attempt (Biogen’s drug dexpramipexole) was tossed out the window in 2013 due to poor results, and it cost $75 million to fund these poor results. (Source)

Did we do our research before jumping on the ALS bandwagon? Or did we get so caught up in the internet hype, the entertaining ice bucket videos, the wet shirts and shirtless celebrities, and the narcissistic craze of posting your own video to show your support of those suffering with the disease?

The Ice Bucket Challenge was a rouse developed by those in power to suck out our energy, placate us, make us feel like we were making a difference, drug us with dopamine, while stealing our money. Next time you want to give to charity, donate your time—not your fragile immune system.

The internet keeps us isolated, drugged, and indifferent. It’s not that we don’t have political opinions or don’t ever spew out lines such as “God, I just hate how the government is so corrupt. I wish I could do something.” But as soon as the words leave our lips, we turn back to our laptops and type “funniest cat videos of 2014” into Google.

Riots and revolution begin with people who have had enough. People who are full of daredevil passion. You think you have that? You might at some point, but the internet helps you drain it into meaningless, innocuous outlets. Battling it out online is just what the powers-that-be want you to do. They want you to let out your frustration by hurtling angry birds at inanimate objects or rating all the celebrities’ Oscar outfits as one-star on your favorite gossip website. When you release your built-up passion and dissatisfaction into all those clever memes you created you’re effectively handing away your care. You’re placating yourself so you don’t have to feel anything or actively change anything. Because feeling passion and anger and dissatisfaction with the real world around you is too hard to handle anymore. Better distract yourself by killing orcs in World of Warcraft—now that’ll make you feel like a real dissenter!

Conclusion

I don’t believe in complaining unless you have a solution to offer.

Unfortunately, the only solution to stop the evil that is the internet without getting rid of it entirely (I mean, come on—who wants to go back to using the Dewey Decimal System or, like, opening up a physical book?) is to regain our self-control. We do have power over the elite, and that is our will power. We don't have to buy into what they feed us. 

To regain our control over ourselves, we have to think critically before we jump into some random online cause. Acknowledge our addiction to social media interactions and assess if they're actually making us feel better about ourselves. 

If we set some limits, we won’t get sucked into the void as often and as harshly. Begin by setting small goals for yourself. Say, “Today I’ll surf the web a total of three hours and no more.” Or, “Today I’ll sign out of Facebook by 5pm and not log back in until tomorrow morning.” Or, "Today I won't post any hateful comments or start angry discussions."

As ridiculous as these goals may seem, they represent your power. You’ll find yourself feeling lighter, less stressed, less bored, less overwhelmed by useless information, and more connected to the NOW—the moment in time in which you’re existing. Hours pass by when we’re online and we don’t even feel them passing. Doesn’t that disturb you? You’re being so berated constantly by things flashing and updating and notifying that you are now unused to silence and stillness. And that’s a scary thought.

If you want to start a cause or fight for one, go out and do it. Physically participating in something (a riot, protest, picketing, attending speeches, or just voting) moves bigger mountains and will probably give you a life-altering experience.

Don't give in to the Generation Meh reality. Start setting an example for your friends and neighbors by being more Generation FTW. 

I bet 90% of you didn’t even make it to the end of this post. If you did, congrats. Please run for president.