Yeah. They turn me into a sad panda. Or more like a passive-aggressive panda.
Working day shift at a hostel, I don't have to see too much of this interesting species. Most of the crazy shit (literally, real shit on real things) happens at night. Unfortunately, I do have to deal with the day-after drunks. The ones who had so much the night before that they remain soused throughout the following afternoon.
It's like trying to speak to a toddler who is just learning to speak. They bite their lips, hang their head, chuckle to themselves, slap their palms on the desk every so often as though it were a proper mode of communication, say "hey" every two words, talk so softly you mistake them for a pigeon, and lastly, THEY NEVER LEAVE RECEPTION. They just stand there, leaning just enough so that their vodka breath hovers right into your face, and they have no idea who they are or what they really want from you. Yet they seem to have some sort of mission. Something inside them is telling them they need to talk to me, they need to ask me where I'm from, what I'm doing here, where I'm from, am I addicted to cakes, because cakes are like crack, damn cakes are goooooooood.
At first it's kind of funny. You just smile to yourself and thank your lucky stars you're not so stupid as to ever become THAT inebriated. In fact, these drunks seem to be your entertainment. Haha! Look at that one fail miserably to climb the stairs! I can see him stumble and hit his face on the security camera! Haha! I can see drunken naked butts on the camera too! And they don't even realize it! Ha ha ha ha! ha... ha... heh..... ahem.... eh.Yeah, not so funny, actually. Not when it happens over and over and over and over again. Naked butts on the cameras--no matter how muscular--lose their appeal fast. You get to a point when you just want to slap them all back into reality. *Slap* You cannot act like this on a regular basis! *slap* Why do you do this? You sleep all day and see nothing of the beautiful, magical city! *slap* You smell! *slap* For the hundredth time my hair color is natural and I'm from America and I do like cakes but not that much!
